LIFE'S HAPPY, if WIFE'S HAPPY

May be its Lady Cheryl Sarkisian or Lady Nancy Ness who quoted it, but any other women in the world will tally her approval to it and a bitter truth for all men.

"MEN ARE ALWAYS AN ITEM OF LUXURY AND ARE NEVER A NECESSITY"

I know it hurts and for all those spunks who boast their relationship status as the best, will be depressed the most, after reading the statement. Some will even curse me for my single-hood and some will totally disagree. The one who is about to get engaged with a girl will know it soon while the married ones are the experienced lots. I have no personal grudge against any committed pair, nor any person specific, but its a truth, the inevitable one. Sorry to say that but I always believed it to be true until I listened to my dad's speech in a seminar conducted by the Ministry of Railways on the theme "Role of your Wife in your Life", around first week of September 2012.
I was busy sorting a problem in one of my projects when my dad came to me and said, "I have been asked to deliver a speech in the seminar. Can you help me in that?" Speaking honestly I was amazed that Dad was asking me for a help and that too in speeches, he is an expert in that.
"Well I can but what's the topic? But why me?" I was more excited to know the reason than the topic.
"I heard that you are writing blogs, so I asked you", my dad said and I was in cloud 9. At least he paid a least heed to my work. He spared his valuable time for that. I was all ready to help him.
"Did you read them?" I was curious to know that which one was his best, but I took the first safe step.
"No, I heard it from Monu", Dad said and all my expectations went to gutter. Monu is a childhood friend of mine and his colleague's son. He never has time for these things. Anyways now my help was just a formality.
"OK! What's the topic?" I said in low tone.
"Role of Wife in employees' life and I have to focus on the drivers' life", he said. He leads a team of twenty five loco-pilots and twenty assistant loco-pilots. Loco-pilots is a technical term for 'train-drivers'.
"Dad in that case I can't help you because of two reasons. First I am neither married nor I have or had any girlfriend. Second I never think that girls are responsible for any success. You know that behind every successful man there is a woman as well as behind every unsuccessful man there is also a woman and unsuccessful men outnumbers successful ones. Moreover wives are the universal sink of happiness and money. Only one thing is in abundance: tears. By the way the words 'Happily Married' are the most contradicting word like 'Fully Empty'. So I don't ever support that fact", I quoted the dialogue from Pyaar ka Punchnama.
"That's very rude Bhanu. Woman are equally important in the country's progress. How can you leave half the population worthless", he said in annoyed tone.
"Which is the most developing country in the world, considering the past and the present state?" I asked him a simple question.
"United States", he replied within few nanoseconds of the completion of the question.
"The people of that country never elected any lady as their president. The only reason for that is that they are intelligent people and they know that they can't rely on any stupid color-conscious mind to rule the country. Take example of any lady leader in the world, they are either assassinated or dragged down from power because of certain baseless reason. They all did that because they are never best as number one post holders. They are good as number two. By the way many great personalities had said that there is a woman behind every evil-deed which ranged from Mahabharat to common family disputes", I was blowing out my frustration. I wanted to add more but I halted at a strong point.
Usually I am not an anti-woman kind of man but the current problem which I was sorting in the project was because of a girl only. Her oversensitiveness about colors in her project's layout had made me an artist who paints in hexadecimal numbers rather than color-tubes and brushes. The words were only because of her.
"You should attend the seminar and specially my speech. You must know something", Dad said and handed over a pair of passes for the event, which read 'VIP PASS'. I kept them on my table after he left my room.
The rest of the night went in weird silence as we both avoided to talk to each other after that small knick-knack. We ate our dinner in silence, as if we were mourning. Mummy was totally confused seeing this, but we can't sort the problem in front of her so we avoided the topic.
Next morning before leaving for the event, dad came to my room and said, "You should come by twelve noon". I nodded in acceptance and avoided the rest of the conversation. As per his request I reached sharp at twelve in the seminar hall where the program was scheduled. It was full house event where people came with their families except my dad. I occupied a seat just beside the exit door and this was an intentional move as the exit door would provide me an easy escape when things will get boring.
There were few classical dances and songs presented by the tiny-tots of the employees. Their tiny limb movements made the ambiance a bit interesting and the cute faces lit everybody's mood. None of them were known faces for me, but I loved it. It was followed by other cultural programs, which were neither boring nor very interesting.
At last the Divisional Railway Manager abbreviated as DRM was called for his speech. It seemed like he has mugged up his speech last night because he delivered it without any 'thinking halt'. He quoted many personalities, most of them were unknown to me. The audience was paying him attention just because he holds the supreme power in a division, else then nobody was interested in his bookish jabbing. He was followed by several Sectional Engineers from different departments. The language bound was not led off, thus the speeches were delivered in all three of them, i.e. English, Hindi and Bengali. But all seemed like they have committed it in mind and are vomiting on the podium. The claps and the applauds dropped exponentially as the time passed. Everyone said about how their wives are responsible to bring up their home while they are out for work. How a wife waits for her husband for having lunch or dinner together. They do several religious fasts for the longevity of their husbands' life. I think they all consulted the same Wife's manual for the event.
Then came Dad's turn. I was too bored from all those speech-cum-lectures and honestly speaking I was expecting the same from him also. He went to the podium and unlike others he didn't wished any of those officers there but to the wives of the employees with folded hands and saying, "My heartiest welcome and gratitude to all the Wives of the Loco-Pilots. I am thankful that you all spared your valuable time to attend the event. Aap aaee, bahaar aaya". This was followed by a loud applaud from the audience and especially from the section where the feminine species had occupied their seats. BJP had once offered him their candidature in his college election but he denied and now I understand why they offered him.
"I know that you all had lot of dreams before marrying your fellow husbands. One of them must be spending quality time with them. For you the definition of husband before marriage , must be some what like this. You will wake up your husband early in the morning for office. Both of you would have a splendid breakfast before he leaves for work. You would pack him some marvelous lunch which he would love to eat during his office break. In the evening when he returns back, you would serve him with some fabulous dinner. After that you would have some quality time together before a sound sleep. ", this was a plot from any Indian film where we find a husband and a wife living happily, but Dad quoted it, which was followed by a shriek of snigger among the audience and specially the newly married women.
"But these are yet dreams because you married a loco-pilot. Very Unfortunate. Actually I want to make one thing clear that inside a loco-pilot there resides five animals. They don't have any fixed office time and mostly they have to work in nights like an owl. After the work they come back home at some unusual time and sleeps like buffalos. Morning is not the time they wake up, its when their eight hours rest is over. When they wake up the frustration of their work is tunneled on the food and family members, making them a barking dog. They have hardly eighteen hours of time in their home after which they can be called for work anytime, thus they are always alert like any grazing deer. Uncertainty Rules. Once called for duty, they have to report within two hours. In this two hours they have to eat, get freshen and trot to office like horse", he narrated the reality. It was acknowledged by audience with loud claps and guffaws. Yes it's true, a loco-pilot has a similar life. Dad has served the Railways for twenty years as loco-pilot and it was worse in the initial ten years when his work was in goods trains. Those five animals owl, buffalo, dog, deer and horse were also present in him.
He continued, "I was no exception. I was rather the extreme form of these animals. You can ask my wife. It is really tough to handle five animals at the same time. I feel that only an Indian wife can tolerate us because in America, one gets divorced for snoring. It is you who make us human. I want to focus the wife's role in that. They scarifies their sleep when you reach back home or before you leave for work, to prepare healthy food for you. They are also a mother who send her child to school early morning, everyday without failing. They also do the marketing and other household chores on daily basis. They take care of the fact that you are not disturbed when you are in Z mode. They also look after the studies and the homework of their children in the evening. After all these they happily tolerate your barking for silly reasons without complaining. They don't experience any quality time with you but still they work hard to make you happy". The words were equally true and it was all that mummy experienced for all these days. I hardly saw her sleeping. A collective sigh ran in the audience and it was like Cupid's arrow in the hearts of all the loco-pilots present there. The speech triggered awesome smiles in their wives' face. A lady beside me even jolted her husband telling, "Listen! He is telling the truth but you will never understand". Her husband cuddled her in response, the dark auditorium has its own advantages. This 'you will never understand' is a very common term for any married woman. Anyways I resumed back to the affective speech to avoid the scene.
"But there is certain thing that the wives should also keep in mind. Your husband is not doing any normal job. He operates a vehicle weighing seven thousand tons, on just two parallel tracks. There is no facility for them to sit and drive, they keep standing throughout the run. The one in passenger trains and express trains are responsible for about two thousand lives, which in-fact means two-thousand families. Even a single mistake can take the lives of hundreds. A single yawn or drip of eye is like playing with live bomb. If the Railways makes an extra-ordinary profit, then the credit is distributed among all but if an accident happens the driver is the one, who is first responsible. But in actual case drivers should be given their credit for the profit. Even when a train is delayed, the passengers curse the driver first but nobody appreciates them when the train is on-time. When a bus collides with train in any UN-manned crossing, the people find the train-driver responsible. When the train derails, the driver is responsible. You should be a proud wife that your husband work with such a responsibility, without any proper appriciation that they deserve ", this time his voice was more firm and determined than the last one. His words widen the chest of the loco-pilots while gave a guilt trip to many officers. There was a pin drop silence. Even the couple beside me were silent.
He continued,"Some of the wives complain about their husband that they spend more time with their friends and not with them. To all those wives, I would suggest that provide him with the peace that he needs and your complain will vanish. Now for all the loco-pilots here, you can't do anything with your daily schedule. It's your work and you have to do it. In case you can cooperate with your wife to make your life happy and your home a better place to live in. If you take a few step to help your wife, she will run for you. She is also a human and she also needs some refreshment. Take her to a tour in your next holiday and you will find the change for sure. Avoid taking her for granted. Appreciate her works. At least watch her favorite TV channel with her when you are at home. Ask her about the last episodes and she will be excited to interact with you. Sometimes make her some dishes irrespective of your cooking skills, she would love to eat. Take some time off from your work to call her and inform her about your arrival before-hand. You are a wandering bird so bring some surprise gifts for her, from far off places that you visit. Won't you love to see her smiling face when you return. Won't you love to be the one responsible for her gleeful hours. Won't you love to have a wife who cherishes your presence than your absences. Won't it be great that your wife boast about you rather than grumbling about you. These are not dream but it's a result that you can get. You have to do just your part of work and leave the rest for her. LIFE'S HAPPY, if WIFE'S HAPPY. I hope you all find my point valid to implement in your life. Thus I end my speech with a hopeful node. Thank you", he concluded and the audience burst into applauds. I was stun with the standing ovation from the DRM which was followed by all others in the auditorium. The rest of the event was meaningless for me and many others. After the event, during the lunch, I thought to talk to him but he was surrounded by many. The speech had made him a small celebrity there. I pierced the crowd around him and went to him. He smiled as he saw me struggling in the crowd. I went to him and said, "Awesome Dad and thank you".
He smiled and said, "That was my pleasure". He introduced me to his seniors and bosses. The party was over but it was an enlightenment for many including me. Hats off! DAD.

The Name Shakes!!

Uncle Shakespeare had once quoted in his famous romantic work "Romeo and Juliet", the very name that every next person cites to their love-story:

"What's in a name?that which we call a rose;By any other name would smell as sweet"- says Juliet to Romeo

Uncleji with due respect to your tedious works and the fantabulous comment that you made Madame Juliet to convey to piteous Monsieur Romeo, I just want to ask that you never referred what to do with the names that means something weird in some other language and the difference of slight change in the phoneme can change the whole meaning. Anyways Uncleji sometimes the name can shake your mind also.
Mr. B. Singh is one of the schoolmates of my dad. He was an extra-ordinary student with gentle behavior, loads of intelligence, phenomenal hand-writing, unobtainable grades, countless achievements and vast out-of-the-book knowledge. He was equally lucky too, to be born with silver spoon in his mouth. His ancestral property was so huge that it can feed his next eleven generations without letting anyone to work for a single day. His ancestral farmland added more dividends to it every season. There are legends about his family in the area that a troop of elephants used to serve them as their royal carriers. Despite of having all this modes of happiness, Mr. B. Singh was still not happy and do you know what was his reason of sorrow. It was his NAME.
He weighed four kilograms when he was born and because of his heavy weight his grandfather decided to felicitate him with a name that can make you feel the weight by mere listening to it. Many nominations were placed but all were rejected for some or the other reason. His uncle suggested "HANUMAN SINGH" but his grandfather readily declined that because it sounded like you are calling two animals at a time. 'Hanuman' was although a Hindu God but the term was used in Hindi for stating a monkey while 'SINGH' was although their family-name but in Hindi it meant lion. So after a prolonged debate between the family members and several Yes-No's, the Singh family finally named their prince as "BALRAM SINGH", naming him after a Hindu God Lord Balarama who is considered to be the elder brother of Lord Krishna and the teacher of the art of fighting with mace of some great muscular personalities like Bhima and Duryodhana, as per the Hindu Mythology.
Everything went quite happily but the twist came when Mr. B. Singh was studying in eighth standard. His class-teacher as well as his teacher in English was Mr. Bipin Sengupta who was a Bengali. His English had the perfect smell of Maccher-Jhol in it i.e. his well-furnished English had a strong Bengali accent. On the first day while taking attendance he spoke in fragmented speech "Bal... Ram... Singh". Well there was a huge population of Bengali knowing student in the class and from that day everyone started teasing him with that. "Bal" is a slang in Bengali. Mr. Sengupta considering the seriousness of the matter with his student decided to give a visit to Balram's home. He explained Balram's father the vulnerability of his name and the potential disaster he can face if anyhow he shifts to the neighbouring state West Bengal. He requested them to change the name with immediate effect otherwise once registered in the board exams it will be a mess. So, on Mr. Sengupta's request "BALRAM" became "BOLRAM".
His misfortune did left him with the previous name. Three months later Mr. Sengupta was transferred to an unpronounceable place of Andhra Pradesh and another teacher Mr. S. Bhalla replaced him, who was brought up in Punjab. While announcing the names of the students in a debate competition he spoke up "Bol.. Ram... Singh". Now the Hindi word "Bol" means 'to speak', thus after such an addressing of the name, poor B.Singh's name was further modified as "Boloram Singh" by his friends. The complain went to his father via the principal who received the complain from Mr. Bhalla. On the direction of the principal, Balram's name was re-registered as "BALLRAM". Now nobody made any mistake with the pronunciation.
But another time life exhibited him the deprivation with his name. The admit card of Matriculation Exam arrived and there was a minute mistake on the parameter of spell check but a disaster for him. The first 'L' was replaced by an 'I' and making it "BAILRAM". The class teacher while distributing the cards sounded "Baill-Ram". 'Baill' is a Hindi term for BULL. The announcement was enough to trigger wild guffaw in the class and re-modification of his name among friends. Life seemed to be full of surprises but for Balram it was full of shocks.
Balram Singh personally went to the head office for the correction but the explanation what he got was again a potential threat with the name. A person with gray hairs and a carrom board striker sized spectacles on his eyes explained, "Son, we usually don't do such mistakes. The only reason for the mistake would the base of the first 'L' of your name may be shorter in length compared to the second one. Thus it seemed to be an 'I'. Son, we usually don't give such suggestions but I am giving you a suggestion on virtuous basis that change the spelling of your name to BALRAM. It will be better".
Balram didn't follow his suggestion but rather became tense with the mistake that may have occurred in the form. If it occurs again then he will be in serious trouble.
The mistake happened again, he was the gold medalist in Physics Honors. On the convocation day, the university had arranged a world class presentation ceremony and lot of eminent personality were invited. The anchor announced his name as "BALL... RAM... Singh" sounding of some kind of cricket ball. After the announcement, the audience burst to laughter instead of applause and claps. He felt insulted and this time he decided to change his name to "BALARAMA", referring to the English version of Bhagwat Geeta. The best thing he did this time was that he did affidavit from the court.
So, this time it was a legal affair.
Things didn't changed after that too. After serving the Indian Government at different posts and marrying one of his boss's daughter, he felt severe home-sick. He returned to his native place and started his new business. He opened a mid-scale industry that made cutlery of China-clay and a glass. These cutlery have a great demand overseas and especially in countries like Singapore, Australia and New Zealand. Once he went to Singapore to get his biggest business contract ever. But the people there with their Chinese accent called him with some weird combination of the letters in his name. They crumbled, twisted and modified his name in all possible ways. Life became hard for him, because he started hating the thing that people love the most, their own name.
After returning from his tour he was so perplexed that he went to Rishikesh to get some peace for his mind. He was walking uphill along the river Ganga with baffled mind, foiled in some uneasy thought. He had lost interest in living with his name and he wanted to start a fresh life in some unknown place with a new name. His legs were moving but they didn't knew the destination. The heavenly environment didn't made any difference in him.
An hour walk took him to a small ashram. He felt attracted to it. It had a divine environment with plenty of statues of Hindu god and goddess and a large meditation hall. He stepped in, but something prevented him to enter into that meditation hall. It was a large statue on the right side of that hall. It was the statue of Lord Balarama with a large plough and a mace in his hands while his name was written below it. On looking at the name plate, he jumped in rejoice as if he got his greatest wealth of life. He got so indulge in his jumping and pooping that he didn't noticed that people around him were disturbed. His laughter was like a nuclear bomb in the silent environment of the asram. Two guards came running and without even warning him, they dragged him and threw him out of the ashram. He didn't felt bad because he had got something more special to be happy.
Well, can you guess what he noticed that made him so happy. The name plate had something engraved like this:

"LORD BALRAM; also known as BALBHADRA and HALDHAR". 

Yes, exactly the thing you are thinking happened. Another court affidavit was made to change his name. Currently Mr. B. Singh is known as Mr. HALDHAR SINGH, keeping the meaning intact.
So, my dear readers please keep one thing in mind that for the next time if you get a chance to name a newly born baby, then please do him or her a small favour by naming the baby with some spelling and pronunciation robust name and that doesn't pushes him or her into such trouble because some times THE NAME SHAKES the person very badly.

DARE & TRUTH...!!!

You can call me COCKY after this statement but I can bet my entire savings, my entire property and even myself for the fact that, 

"The inventor of the stupid game called DARE & TRUTH is a third person singular noun feminine gender"

This is another step to prove feminism is a superior concept. The game simply converts you into a marionette. The rules are simple, wait for your turn to be interrogated or blandished to do any not-so-appreciable act in public. Chances are given to all. You can also compel others to expose their best kept secrets or can make them perform their most hated challenge. Its all fine if the game is being played among boys, but it becomes worse when there is a girl in the gang. Girls have an inexplicable capability to ruin boys. Researches are being conducted around the globe to know that which hormone of their body is response for it. But I know they can't find anything. Girls are proficient in their exclusive features. Even God keep safe distance from these beautiful devils.
To all single lad who consider the game to be the most-eligible platform to prove themselves, I have a message for you all,

"Don't ever waste your time in this game to impress anyone and neither get excited if any girl calls you cute after your daring and life-threatening stunts because girls recommend puppies cute too"

- courtesy Bhanu Saurabh (thats me only)

To think of worst, the game can be a real nightmare if you have your best friend in the game and he or she is in all mood to sue you. God even can't save you from the disaster.
I was introduced to this game by Sayantani Chandra, when I was in class IX. Nice guess folks, yes by a girl only. I really loved the game for several reasons, out of which funny-situation-oriented questions of Sayantani topped the list. But it was Manavi who showed me the tenuousness of the game and it was really scary. By the way let me introduce you to Manavi:

"Manavi Vatsala aka Manavi aka MV is one of my bestststst...st friends. Originally from a Bihari family, but people often take her as a Punjabi. Her affection to her background forced her to learn articulated Bhojpuri, but just after few sentences she collapses. Living for more than a decade in West Bengal, the ambience had taught her far-better Bengali that can sometimes bring small headaches. She tried her best to get a Kannada accent during her college days, but failed again. BAD LUCK!! Recently she is trying to learn Punjabi too. May God save the language. She tried her hand in dancing too, but her weight always proved to be the CHINA WALL between her and her dancing abilities. It is not true that she haven't done anything to cope up with her weight. Her numerous attempt of dieting has brought her to a state where she can be called as "healthily-plump". Although her favorite exercise is chewing. Nevertheless her paintings and sketches are still used during visual shock therapies, in various psychiatry centers. She hardly ever watches any cricket match but is a die-hard fan of Yuvraj Singh and a supporter of KKR. WEIRD COMBO!! Keeping these things apart, she is a very nice person at heart. She is one who is always there beside me irrespective of any situations. She is a treasure box and a cushion for me on which I can fall back at bad times because her smile and her company is enough for me to stand back."

As you know sometimes friends prove to be better foes and so did she proved once when we were in Class XI.
It was on 14th February, 2007 i.e. the Valentines Day; nice guess, you have excellent knowledge. The normal classes were all over and the revision classes were on. Classes were never full house during these revision sessions, rather only few notorious people, who loved the schooldays more than their holidays, came to attend these classes. That day MV came running to me, grasped a bit and then told, "Yaar, Chandu is looking awesome today, never seen her like that".
She used to call our chemistry teacher as Chandu an shorter version of her name Chandrima Saha. Chandu was neither an out-of-world beauty nor she was an owner of ample bosoms, but still she had many admirers in our class including me. Well before calling me shameless let me tell all you girls who are reading this, that the thing counts a lot for any boy's eyeballs. My introspection states that I was a Chandu's fan because of, her way of delivering speech and her reaction to our out-of-syllabus-questions.
"Just relax MV, let it be", I replied as I had no interest for any chit-chat after my badminton session.
"You will love to see her", she provoked me. I didn't replied.
The first two periods were mere free periods as the teacher was absent and the substitute teacher had left us in self-revision mode. Now everyone knew that these self-revision thing was a metaphor for gossip times. MV kicked off the game "Dare & Truth". At first only two were there excluding MV and me but later more five joined. My turn came and I intensely choose a dare because I knew choosing truth would be very dangerous as my best friend was in the group. But who knew that dare can also kill.
I was given a dare to complete and that to by MV which was "Wish Candu Valentine's Day just in front of whole class" NO WAY!!
Wishing a teacher Valentine's Day and that to in front of whole class was just like pulling the tail of a sleeping lion. It was impossible. A "No" to the challenge felicitates you with the name WIMP and I never wanted that. There was only one way out, the very next period was Maths class and Yadav Sir was our teacher. When MV turn came I gave her a similar challenge to wish Yadav Sir the same. She readily accepted that. It was a perfect trap set, she will wish him, get a bit of scolding and by the time Chandu's class will come, I can skip. PERFECT PLAN.
Bell rang indicating the start of the Maths period. I was rejoicing for my plan. Yadav Sir, a person in his early fifties looked like a retired personal. I have never seen his hairs in any other shade except white. He was an expert in Mathematics but his English has always been matter of concern for us. He twisted and crumbled the language in all possible ways. Anyways now what I wanted was some hindi-soap-opera drama from him after MV wishes him.
Yadav Sir arrived and all the students stood up to wish him in unison "Good Morning Sir". This was the time when you find your whole class to be united, irrespective of the standard you are in. From Nursery to Class XII the wishing unity remains intact, the only thing that changes is the stretching of the last word. The length of the last word's pronunciation is inversely proportional to the class you belong.
Anyways Yadav Sir reached the podium and everybody sat except the girls. They wished in another unison "Happy Valentine's Day Sir". TOTALLY UNFAIR!!
I asked MV to wish her but she added all girls now the blame can't be distributed. Anyways but a scolding is a scolding even if it's uniformly distributed. But there was no scolding at all. Come on Sir, show some anger. If that is not possible then animate something close. But Yadav Sir blushed like a teenaged girl who just received a long awaited and expected proposal from her dream-guy. Sir that's not fair. Some of these girls' fathers are younger than you. Even worse you have two daughters and one of them is having kids.
The total unexpected reaction from him flushed all my plan to gutter. After his blushing and giggling of these girls got over, he just replied with a suppressed smile, "Take out your notebooks".
MV turned towards me and in her mute version she reminded me that next class is Chandu's and it will be my turn now. As they have done it successfully, it was the question of my boasting ego. I knew that I had a philanders' image in everybody's eye but wishing her alone will make me eve-teaser chauvinist. But these girl had showed me a way. Eighty percent of the class were boys and so the scolding of Chandu can be well distributed. Thus I shared my woes to my class brethren, but got a mixed reaction.
Sahil said, "Fuck off man. Can't axe my own feet for this silly reason".
Arnab spoke, "Forget it. Can't spoil my good boy image in Chandu's eye".
Prabhakar and Samrat had a phobia to dreadful acts, so I didn't asked them.
Harsh showed some pity as his point was, "Bro! I will support you". Thanks Harsh, at-last got one. He was my true friend. Fuck you Sahil and Arnab.
I asked few more but none seemed to have courage like Harsh and me. Anyways sometimes one is enough to support. The maths class went in vain as I was busy collecting support.
The bell rang and Yadav Sir went out. Chemistry Class Starts. BEST OF LUCK TO ME.
After five odd minutes, Chandu came. WOOOW!! Simply great.
She wore a stunning sari. MV was right. It was really hard to believe that she is married and she is having two children. How can anyone be so well maintained. She reminded me of many Bollywood and Hollywood actresses who looks prettier with age. Anyways if I had to predict her age then it cant be beyond some early twenties.Who says times trolls beauty.
Anyways she reached the podium and everybody wished in unison, "Good Morning Ma'am". Well MV was too much smiling. She knew what dooms day I have to pass. Its better to be called as a Cheap-guy than a Wimp-guy. I was all ready. Everybody sat but I remain standing. I turned towards Harsh to say that "Its time. GO! GO! GO!". But he sat. He fend as I saw him. BASTARD! you too betrayed.
"What happened Bhanu?" Chandu spoke up while I was still glaring Harsh. I turned back to answer. At first I thought to give up the challenge and sit down but "NO" my male-ego said. The girls have done and I have to prove.
"Nothing ma'am", I coughed and replied. Girls guffawed.
"Then why are you standing?" excellent observation. I was nowhere in the class. My bench-mates Sahil and Arnab turned towards me as if I am about to ask her to marry me.
"Happy Valentines' Day Ma'am", I swallowed a gulp of saliva after saying that. FUCK. I have pulled the lion's tail and what else can I expect. I was DEAD.
"JUST!! Sit Down", Chandu replied, trying hard to suppress her smile. I was relaxed. I turned to MV. Her mouth was wide open in shock. My daring stunt ran some collective tingle and sigh among the boys while muffled giggle among girls. I was the STUD of the class now. Chandu find hard to react but quickly wafted the topic to some serious Hydrocarbon Nomenclatures. Riddance to me. WELL DONE BHANU.
I still praise Chandu and curse Yadav Sir for their sportingly replies. Anyways sometimes its good to have adventures but not the one which threatens life. The game is still played among my friends but I do avoid playing with MV after that day. Its just not my story but can serve as a potential dare which may be a challenge for you to perform, as girls are also reading it. SO BOYS BEWARE OF DARE & TRUTH.

Views & Interviews III

It is a very common trend of gossips and advices given to girls often by the girls, before interviews is that, "Just dress properly, speak proper English without any local accent, flaunt your beauty, show some friendly attitude and a bit of technical fact, you will have the offer letter". Some even say that: Girls who have a worked out figure, doesn't need a sharp brain to take an IT job. When girls can't get things by being intelligent, they can get it by being dumb. BUT IT'S NOT TRUE. I want to give an alert message to all those ideologist that, IT firms hire BRAINS not BOOBIES and never take anything for granted. Some interviewer who are really dedicated towards their job can really give you a tough time in their panels. But there is always a small favor of luck for all those who have either worked hard or are in-born lucky. If you find me an unsuitable person for this advice then you may consult Cindrella Kasyap.  
Ooh!! By the way, allow me introduce you to her first:
"Cindrella... Cindrella Kasyap, from Bokaro.Bokaro Steel City" were the words of introduction by her in our first class introduction. Well it sounds like "Bond... James Bond" but every introduction of her seems to be correct when you have her result card in your hand. She has been in top-three position of our department throughout her college life. Leaving apart her academic achievements, she is very friendly, sweet and nice girl. Many call her Cindu but I felicitated her with the name "Dhakkan" (Hindi term of bottle's cap, rather used to state an idiot). She was awarded with the honour because of her inability to understand the dual-meaning jokes of mine. In return she also calls me "Dhakkan" but she is more popular with the tag among our friends. The best part of her is that: I never had to think before speaking anything in front her because by the time she gets that, I am not in the vicinity.
Anyways she had a real amazing interview in WIPRO on-campus placement drive. She narrated me as:
It was three in the night when Namrata called me to say that my turn for Wipro's Technical Interview is around six in the evening. I asked her about Sumit. She told that Sumit had his turn the next day but she had adjusted it in the evening only. She is a darling. Namrata was our placement cell representative along with Nitesh. I always envied her personality and her presentation skills. She was the true companion of Nitesh in the placement cell. Both of them weigh more than all other placement representative taken together. But apart from her weight which I always wished to have but never had, she was a perfect person to represent the girls wing of our department. Yes Nitesh and Namrata were the face of Computer Science and Engineering.
Sumit has been the person of my dreams. I always found him beside me, at the times when it was most necessary. Although being a very mysterious character for many, he was very simple for me. A bit short-tempered but loveable. Its always an advantage to have an intelligent boyfriend with you. Well in-spite being the topper of the department for few semester, I was a consistent student of him who taught me almost everything. I never knew why he never got such good grades.
Well as per the legends and myths in our college. Interviews were considered to be an easy path for girl, if you fulfill certain girlish criteria. I did. I had the best collection of formals among my friends. Although none appreciated my look on the interview day except Sumit but I say I looked gorgeous. I did my final checking before leaving the room.
Resume: Checked,
Certificates: Checked,
Shoes Polished: Checked,
Hair Style Perfect: Checked,
Lips Glowing: Checked,
Face Lighten: Checked,
Dress Perfect: Checked,
Body Line Awesome: Checked,
INTERVIEWER WILL BE DEAD NOW, so was my confidence.
I was there at five thirty sharp. I saw many of my classmates in the waiting queue. It was really a long queue. Sumit reached after me. He too looked good. I don't get how these nincompoops look so gentle on the placement day. If they look so perfect then why then don't dress up properly. I was really shocked to see some of the boys from our department.Uday, Ashwini, Nawal and all others looked so cool. Bhanu had an amazing interview in the morning but he was there to support others with technical help. He looked HUMAN for the first time after Infosys Interview.
We started discussing the questions that were asked to different candidates till now. I had a perfect interview with Infosys so I was a bit relaxed but Sumit was tensed because it was his first interview. I became restless whenever I saw Sumit being tensed. I was just praying for him.
Well two hours passed, neither Sumit nor I were called. I was hungry now. Huma had a remarkable technical and HR interviews. After that she brought us food. Time was moving very slow rather it was being force fully moved.
Another two hours passed, we were unmoved. Now we had no topics to discuss. WIPRO was testing our patience. It was really an stress interview. Tension, hunger and tiredness were creeping fast. I had to flash water every hour to keep me presentable. It was tough.
Ten at night I was called. The interviewer unbelievably fresh, handsome and sharp. We wished each other. He took my resume and asked me to introduce myself. I did. Then he asked me certain technical questions and answered them perfectly as they were pure fact based question. It seemed to me like a practical Viva. After interrogating for ten minutes he asked me to leave. I was confused that whether he choosed me or not but he spoke up, "You will have a second round of technical interview, go outside and wait" and he returned me my belongings.
I came back to my seat and saw Sumit was still waiting. Nobody before me was asked to wait for second interview. It was strange. The interviewer had a half an hour break at ten thirty. We were being bored. It was really a stress interview going on. They were testing our limits. Two hours passed and it was midnight now. All my make-ups were destroyed now.
Then all of a sudden I was called. This time I was in another panel. The interviewer looked very fresh again. I didn't know how this can happen. They were there in the room since two o'clock and they looked fresh.
"Your document says that you had faced the technical round" , he said with a surprise.
"Yes Sir, but the interviewer said that I will have to give it second time", I replied.
"No there is no such norm, go and claim it", he showed me the way.
I wanted to avoid further delay so I said, "Sir, No Problem, I can give another technical interview".
He smiled and it was a good sign that he was impressed.
He took my CV and first thing he said after I gave my introduction was, "Great grades. You seemed to a bright girl. What a hobby? Solving Puzzles".
Actually I didn't had any hobby like thing so I wrote there "Solving Puzzles", but here I had no other option left than saying, "Yes sir".
"Ok then let me test you", he said. He took out his phone and after pressing few keys he forwarded me the phone and asked to solve a Su-Du-Ku. SHIT NO-WAY. Co-incidentally it was the  same set that my mom had and I had enough experience handling it. Mean while he was busy writing something. It took me ten odd minutes to solve it and break his record, that was saved. He was impressed. I was good.
"Then let me give you another puzzle. I hope you remember Physics", he said and took out a blank sheet.
"Yes, I do", I had no choice. He drew some sketch where a projectile ball was thrown from a hill and it landed on a boat in a river. He asked to derive the total distance covered by the ball.
I was really tensed because it was really becoming hard for me. At-last somehow I struck to basics and applied all possible forces that ball can have and finally forwarded the answer.
He was looking into the sheet as if he could discover a treasure out of it. I was not sure about my answer. I was praying to God and asking myself why I wrote such a hobby. He looked into the paper and then starred at me. Every time he had a different expression and it was killing me. He did it four to five times. My palms were cold now. My heartbeat were faster. I was really tensed but it flew away when he finally spoke, "Perfect". THANKS GOD!!
"You are really logical", he said and I was flying in my mind.
"Actually we need employers like you...",he said and started explaining how Wipro works and how researches are carried on along with the works. He then narrated me his personal on-going project where he was trying to make a game in which a picture in divided into eight sliding parts and its arranged on a panel of nine blocks, leaving one block empty. The moment I heard that I can't stop myself from saying, "My friend has already made that". Yes Sumit had made that.
"Really, Is he here?" he asked with excitement.
"Yes, he is waiting outside", I said.
"Is his interview over?" he asked.
"No", I was immediate in answering.
"Call him", I had a better reaction time. I went out and asked Sumit to come. He hesitated at first and I forced him in. They shook hands and the interviewer straight came to the point. No INTRO, No CV and moreover No HOBBY was asked.GREAT.
Sumit and he started their conversation in some alien language and I was just a mute audience. He saw me doing nothing, so he again gave me a puzzle and asked me solve it. I got busy solving that and cursed myself for referring it as my hobby. Mean-while it never seemed like Sumit was being interviewed, but rather it looked like he was dealing his game.
I took about fifteen minutes to complete. By the time the deal was done and they were shaking hands. He took out two acceptance form and handed over to us saying, "You both must join Wipro and do fill the first preference as Hyderabad. I am working there as Project Manager. It will be a great experience working with you all". He stood up and shook hands. We left. I can't believe that I had crossed the hurdle with the help of the last minuted added word in the resume PUZZLES. It was really great. It was already two o'clock in night and we were quickly called for our HR round.
Well it really feel like fun to hear it but solving Physics derivation and three puzzles, out of which one was su-du-ku, is really tough. Kudos to Cindrella and Sumit. WELL DONE. Girls I hope you get what I wanted to say and Boys one more thing to learn from her interview was that make your resume properly. Every word in your resume counts and has some weight. Just don't copy-paste somebody's resume. Anyways Sumit was paid for his hard work. Four days after the interview he qualified for zonal level competition of Aspiration 2020 conducted by Infosys at Bhubneshwar.

Views & Interviews II

As per my promise I am writing my worst interview but I request my readers to simply read it and forget it. I felt so embarrassed after the incident that I kept it as a secret for many. Although few of my friends know about the incident, I am writing it in the post. But I again request all of you to please forget it as soon as you finish reading it.
 

The worst interview that I have faced was in the ragging. I feel very upset to say that this ragging happened with me, neither in my first semester nor in my second semester but in my third semester's ending. To add fuel to it I give you one more fact that I was not ragged by any group of senior boys but by a gang of senior girls. I was crossing the roadside stalls near my college and I was all alone. I was going for a game of badminton near the faculty quarters. I was having my racket with me. Suddenly I heard a female voice calling from behind, "Hey you, badminton player, come here". It was not a request but an order. Thus I took no time to recognize that I was called by some seniors. But I was shocked to hear a female voice. Anyways I had no other choice than to turn back and check out who was calling. From one of those food stands there was a gang of seven to nine girls sitting and the tallest one had called me. I recognized her as she spoke up again "Can't you hear, we are calling you here, come fast". I walked to the stall but it was unusual to see such a huge gang of girls sitting in these food stalls, this time of the day. It was evening, the time when these girls eat up their so-called boyfriend's brain in the name of dating. I went there and stood in front of them and wished each one. Five were sitting on a bench while three were standing nearby. After which the first thing they always wanted to know was INTRO i.e. introduction. It is just not a simple intro but had to tell everything from birth to the present status.
"Black track-pants, white shoes, white t-shirt, Yonex racket... What's the plan boss?" the one who called me spoke.

"I am going for badminton", I replied with utmost politeness.

"That I can see but are these dress necessary for the game?" another question was thrown by her. She was only interrogating me while the rest were busy scanning me from top to bottom. I don't know what their plan was.

"No, but I feel comfortable with them", I tried to say an unbiased answer.

"But I don't feel comfortable", surprisingly another girl from the gang interrupted.

"May be but I feel so", with due respect I gave my answer.

"I think he is just covering the story; he is all set to impress the girls. By the way that badminton court in which he plays is just beside the junior girls’ hostel. Look the way he is dressed, everything is shining. I hardly find a speck of dirt in his shoe. I don't think he can play at all", the first girl gave her synopses to the second one.

Yes she was right; the court was at the distance of stone throw from the girl's hostel. It was also true that some of those girls were our all time audience as they peeped from their windows after putting off their room's lights. But I was sad that she said I can't play well. By the way the shoes were brand new.

"No ma’am, I don't have such intentions and these shoes are new", I tried my best.

"So you are flaunting your new shoes", the second one told.

"No ma’am, not like that. I always wear shoes. In fact I never wear slippers or floaters in any game", I was saving myself.
"Why then you don't want to impress girls?", now this was a bouncer. No it was a beamer. A girl was asking me that. It was becoming tough for me.

"NO ahh NO I mean why not. Yes I want", I was off my track.

"But you said you don't and that too just few seconds ago", a third girl told whom I had considered to vocally challenged.

"Yes I told that but I am not in the mood of impressing any girl right now. It's a play time and nothing else", I tried hard to convince them but failed. Another beamer was thrown. No baller can throw more than two beamers in the game of cricket. I wanted to protest but this was not cricket, “So you are a player?"
English is a very bad language; this "player" was a googly now.

"I am a sportsperson that's it", I was brilliant.
"OK then what all are the sports that you play except badminton", the first one told.
"Volleyball, Table-tennis, Football and a bit of cricket", I was obedient. My answer came within microseconds after her question.

"Hmm you play a lot that means. By the way that means you must be having a girlfriend already that's why you seemed to be so relaxed and busy in games", the second girl spoke but I didn't know what she wanted to say but it was a Yorker right on my weak nerve.
"No ma’am I don't have a girlfriend", I defended.
"Why? You had two-three but now there are none, I hope", surprisingly another girl came into this discussion. I thought that she must be sorry about my current situation, but who knew that she had some other plan.

"No ma’am, I am not so lucky", I was being a gentleman in front of them.
"Why you didn't have any?” the fourth girl asked.
"I never approached anyone", it was true.
"You said that you are from Durgapur; that means there must a girl but you are not telling us", the first girl spoke after a long gap. I was surprised by her comment that how Durgapur is related to girlfriend and if it is true then how I became an exception.

"No ma’am, it’s true; neither I approached any nor any girl approached me and there is no such thing in my life", I was true again.
"Ok let us consider that you are right, then tell me why you didn't approach", a new entry in the asking team.
"Ma’am, I never felt like doing so", I replied to the fifth girl.
"Just let it go then. Now say among all the girls present here, whom you will approach", the first girl interrupted.

WTF. A girl was asking this question. I was in cloud 9.
"None", a straight answer and it looked like a slap on their faces because all their smiles vanished in a moment.

"Why?" the second girl questioned.
"Because you all are my seniors", I was so good with the answer that all the smiles appeared back on their faces.
"Consider we are you batch mate then whom you think to be most beautiful?" the fifth girl asked. WHAT A QUESTION.
I acted over-smart in front of them and answer the question in this way, "Beauty lies in the eye of beholder. Thus for me you all are beautiful".

I was done and I had spoiled all my good impression. I showed my other side that I was a big flirt-cum-jerk.
"Look I told you he is not at all innocent", the first girl made her point clear while the rest giggled and I was confused.
"No you won't have such option, you have to choose one", the second girl said after suppressing her laugh.
"Then I choose you ma'am", I choose the second girl because she was kind to me as compared to others and moreover she was really cute.
"What’s the problem with others?" the fifth girl fired.

"Nothing, just because you all asked to choose one so I choose her", I wanted to say the truth but was unable to do so.
"That implies that you rated her at top", the first girl put forward her view.
"Yes you can say", I cleared my point but I watched the second girl who was topping my list, from my eye's corner. She seemed to be smiling too much as if she wants to convey the message to all that she is number one.

"How do you rate? Any criteria?" the second girl asked an unexpected question.
"Smile and Behavior counts", I answered immediately to avoid further questioning.
Then suddenly a guy came in the scene. He was one of the badminton players in that court. He seemed to me as if he was their friend because he came and occupied a seat beside them after giving me a big smile. He was a senior whom we called Dev. I never knew his original name.

"What happened, Bhanu? Seems like you have been caught in a trap", he asked me and yes his every word was right.
"Bhanu has rated your girlfriend at number one amongst us", the first girl gave the explanation about the trap. There was no trap till now but the net was thrown on me after the statement. He was a kind of boy who had a real mad gang behind him and one punch from him can shatter my skeletal system. This is a very tense situation for you to react when a junior rates your girlfriend as number one in his list. So he was tensed and I WAS DEAD.

"I didn't know that she is your girlfriend", my frightened and uneasy mind provoked me to plea with these words.
"Hey what's the problem buddy? It’s OK. I know you. Relax", I felt same like a lost boy returns home.
"So, you said you will approach her. So now approach her", the first one said. She looked strange and it seemed like I had taken few billion dollar from her and refusing to return.
"I can't", I still feared the lad there.

"It's an order. You have to. Now let me make your situation a bit easy. PROPOSE HER...", she said. I was confused that on which parameter she made my path easy. She was vomiting fire with each words.
"Ma’am, Please I can’t”, I pleaded as I can’t at least chance to walk on a path to hospital bed.
"You have to, a senior has asked you, but be ready for after effect", Dev said me.

He was actually threatening me or was saving me, it was unknown but he was smiling as he said the statement. Well I thought if he is saying in such a way, then he will save me so I said, "Ma’am! Will you accept me as your next boyfriend?”

Yes it was very indeed and the girl too started laughing but the after-effect is worth to be forgotten.
THHHAASSS!! A slap right on the left side of my face but the first girl offered that saying, "How dare you say that?"
Well she was the one who asked me to do so but indeed she awarded me with this slap. God knows why but the one of her fingers did strike my eye. I covered my eye immediately to reduce further damage from the upcoming slaps but no more came.

Dev took me out of the stand and he explained, "Dude, just relax. That girl wanted to slap you but she needed a reason. So just forget it". I asked, "Why? Have I done anything wrong to her?"
"No. It’s just that she never liked your attitude. She says that you are a kind of over smart. Well leave that and let’s go for the game. Be confident I won’t tell this to anyone", he consoled me and we moved towards the court.

May be she can't tolerate me around. One thing which I came to know after that is: when a senior wants to sue you, then he or she can do it anyway. No way out. By the way the word "ATTITUDE" is still a mystery for me as I never understood the criteria and clauses that defined this word.

Views & Interviews I

Everybody has to face an interview in his life. May be it is in the form of practical viva, ragging, oral exams, placement interviews, police interrogation or an questionnaire from your would-be in-laws before your marriage. So in some case or the other you have to be an interviewee. Some interview you love to remember which inspires you always while some of them are like your bad times which you still remember them as lessons. I am no exception. I have faced an interview that always inspires me and another one that always teaches me a lesson. To start with here I will tell you my good one and in my next post I will describe my bad one.
It was in the Wipro Campus Recruitment Interview's Technical Round which always inspires me to be confident, firm and determined. Being honest it was not my first placement interview because two days before, I had already appeared for Infosys HR Interview and it went quite well. I was still awaiting for the results of that Interview. The day before was the Wipro's Aptitude Round which was in pen-paper format. I qualified and was selected for the Technical Interview. It was early in the morning at eight o'clock. I have never seen so many people in the college at this time, before. I saw my friend Nitesh in the Placement cell. He was the coordinator of these interviews being the student representative from our department. He had reached an hour before. His swollen red eyes and dipping shoulder were clearly speaking that he was dead tired working late last night. He is really a tough and hard working guy. He had been running around for weeks before the on-campus placement even reached the starting line. He has a huge body and yes huge means really HUGE. He was almost triple than me on volume scale. But his massive structure was a store house of enormous power that helped him to work like bulls and horses. Moreover his presentation skills and communication abilities always made him our representative. He has a great future in politics because the way he convinces others, no one can.
I was sitting in the waiting queue and Nitesh came up to me, handing me a piece of paper, he spoke in one go, "Dude, I am placing your name for Panel-3. I know your Infosys Interview was good and moreover you are technically very sound. The guy in the panel is asking conceptual questions and he is spending nearly an hour for one candidate. He is the one who interviewed Arko last night for nearly three hours. By the way he is rejecting like hell. Arko was the last and the only one who got selected by him. If you can engage him for a longer time then in the mean while I can use the easy panels for technically-not-so-sound guys. And I know you will be selected for this company for sure. You will be the one after Arko. Will you?"
I already told you that he had a great convincing power and I agreed. SO LETS TRY.
The paper he handed me was a blank sheet where we were asked to write our views about "Global Warming" in three hundred words. I wrote an essay with lot of idioms, phrases and quotations from great personalities. At least anyone who reads that essay of mine can clearly say that I had lack of relevant points but I had tried the best to express my so-called-feelings. Two candidates were ahead of me in that Panel. The first candidate went in like a heavy-weight champ and came out like a feature-weight chap after a half an hour interval. His body posture and his biting teeth were announcing that he was thrown out by that person and his behavior was noway human. My hands and feet froze as if I was in poles. The second boy had already lost half of his strength after the scene. He entered as if there was a cannibal waiting inside to tear him apart and proclaim "REST IN PIECES".
The wait was really killing me. I saw people entering and leaving the other panels. The frequency was quite good in those panels. I thought once that it would have been better if I had taken an easy path but it was too late now. I saw people literally jumping up at the gate and giving bear hug to each other. They were very happy for cracking the interview. Some of them were howling in joy. I don't know what made them so happy. It's just a job that will pay you a salary which is not enough to sustain a standard living, on my dad's parameter. I was sure that I won't become a monkey even if the company hires me before the HR round. There was another half of the scene also, I saw several sad, dull and most importantly crying faces. Some girls were crying so much that it can dehydrate them. By the way, I realy want to ask all the girls out there, WHY YOU ALL CRY SO MUCH???
I was busy admiring the fact that why there was nobody after me in this panel. I was sitting at that very chair for more than two hours with two short and swift journeys to loo and back. I had two people ahead of me but there are none after me. The next two chairs were empty as if they were meant for nobody. I saw Nitesh sweating around with different people and papers. The placement drive should have been a boon for him as he got a chance to work out without even facing the gym toils. A hand came over my shoulder. I turned around to see who was that. I saw Dr. P.R.Purkait was sitting beside me. He is the HOD of Electrical Engineering. He was the counselor of IEEE in our college and I was the Vice-Chair of IEEE Student Branch. We knew each other very well. He was also a great fan of my Badminton skills and he never missed a chance to challenge me for a game. He didn't said a word to me and smiled. I tried to stand in response but he pulled me back to my seat, as his hands were still on my shoulder. He then pretend to be a doctor and checked my nerves in my hand after which he showed a surprising gesture to say that the pressure was high. Yes it was. He sat there for next fifteen minutes and we both didn't exchange a word there.
The door opened and my heart pumped at its maximum. PRP sir alias Purkait sir stood up and left the place after tapping my back. The guy came out and the result was obvious, he was rejected after being interrogated for more than an hour. He asked me go in and wished me luck. I wanted to ask him that how it was but he was in a hurry to cry and he left within few seconds. I just watched him going away and hitting hard the file he had. I WAS NEXT.
I opened the door. I saw a vacant chair was placed in front while across the large table there was a man wearing formals and company's id card in his neck was busy writing something in a paper.
"May I come in sir", these were my first words in the room.
"Yes! do come. Good Morning. Have your seat", he raised his hand to show me the chair. The accent with which he said the last sentence made me clear that he was either from Tamil Nadu or Andhra Pradesh.
"Good Morning and Thank you", I said to acknowledge him and took my seat.
He put forward his hand to take my file which I had placed in the table. He asked a simple two word question to which I had to reply for next two minutes and it was, "Introduce yourself..."
My introduction was nothing but an elaborate version of my fact based tabular resume. In the mean while he turned the pages of my file and I was quite sure that all my talks was of no use because he was busy reading my certificates. I ended my answer to which he replied, "Impressive".
I was pretty confused about the topic he was talking: was it my introduction or my file. Anyways it was a good sign.
He put his head down and started writing something again. Then said while writing, "So you are form Computer Science.."
"Yes", I said but he raised his head and gave me a strange look which meant that the last sentence he said was a fact and not a question. He pushed a paper and asked me to sign. I did.
"You said that you did your intern project at IIIT Hyderabad. What kind of project it was?" My god he was listening. GREAT.
For the next five minutes I had to explain my whole project whose name itself was twelve words long. I don't know whether he understood or not but I explained whatever I knew about that topic. I was speaking and in reply he was just waving his head up and down so that I can feel that he was listening. The thing ended and he spoke, "I have also worked on this platform. By the way you spoke everything from scratch to the final. GOOD". FUCK! I was treating him like I treated my departmental teachers in the presentation. But luckily I spoke everything relevant to the topic. I WAS SAVED.
"Well your CV says that you are developing an online system for an international conference", I was surprised that how a man can listen to my introduction and read my CV simultaneously.
I again gave him every detail of the project in which I was working. An international conference was about to be organized in our department after two months and I was the web in-charge of it. He seemed to like my short presentation of the ongoing project and he simply asked me a question, "Suppose the MD of a company wants to wish all his employees on their as well as on their family member's birthday. How can you do that using the platform in which you are working?"
I told him the mail function of the system. I wanted something that reaches instantly to the employee.
I said, "Sir, we can use SMS gateway to wish them via cellphones and an acknowledgement summary of the people who had been wished on the behalf of MD on MD's cell."
He was really impressed and that was easily visible from his facial expression. Then these was followed by some conceptual questions from C, data structure and algorithm and I answered them correctly. He was really impressed. But then the interview took a new turn.
"You already appeared in Infosys Interview right?" he asked a strange question.
"Yes Sir, I had", I said with utmost politness.
"That means you are selected in Infosys", he said.
"But results are still not out sir"
"No problem, Infosys people are not so fool that they will leave you"
"Thank you sir, but still I can't say anything as results are yet not declared"
"Ok but I know you have cleared Infosys and now I can't waste my seat on you. I am sure that you will be joining that company", he was testing my patience now.
"But Sir, nothing can be told right now", I tried to convince him.
"Ok now you tell how was the interview? I mean this interview", he asked.
"If you hire me then it was good or else it was not", I had a point.
"Come on! Every singer can say that how he performed before the results and so does students"
"Then it was good"
"Ok then think you have cleared both the company. Which one will you join?" Shit this question should not come.
"I can't say it now. Both are good companies and both are offering me almost the same package", I was polite enough.
"But you have to join one of them"
"Yes, then I have to ask my mentors", I said to which he simply wanted me to say who are my mentors. I gave him every detail of my mentors: my HOD and Apratim Sir.
"Ok think you went to your mentors and they are not able to take any decision. But finally they said that it's your life you better decide", his questions were killing me now.
"Then I will ask my senior who are currently working in the industry", I replied and then he asked me the details of those seniors. I gave every detail.
"What do you want from the company you will be working for?" he put forward a valid question.
"Opportunity and Good Working Environment", I never meant that, I wanted to say fat salary and luxury.
"Ok you will get lot of opportunity here. Do you want to go for higher studies in future?" again a valid question.
"Ya for sure but not now. Right now I want to earn something", I made my point clear that I won't be doing M.Tech just after my B.Tech.
"Sir, can I ask you something", a very unusual happened. I was asking him. Obviously he replied a yes.
"Sir, I have heard that Wipro supports the higher education of it's employees in different college around the globe", I seriously wanted to ask this question to somebody who is directly related to the company. He started telling me the list of all the programs that company had for this cause and he also named few universities after that where they have send their employees on study leave. I was now enjoying the show as I have done enough of the talking. Now it was his turn.
"But I know its of no use for you. You won't join Wipro and even if you do then the day the contract is over you will leave the company. You are not a long term asset for me. The company will simply drain its money behind you", he was stubborn. He was sticking to that very point only.
"Nothing can be said right now", I said in my lowest tone.
"Ok now lets make some real deal. Relax push your back. Feel easy. Remove this file", he said and he pushed everything to one corner of the table including my file.
"We can offer you ten thousand more per month than the salary assigned on special case. Will you join Wipro?"
"Sir, Money is not everything and I can't say anything right now", what a liar I was. FOR MONEY I AM HERE.
"Then we can allocate you in one of those higher study programs right now or we can hire you as our intern . Will you join?"
"Sir, Thank you for such an offer but I can't come back to this place again to correct my mistake if anything goes wrong in future. So I will discuss it with my mentors and then only I can say.", my answer was enough to shut his mouth.
Then he simply took the red form signed it and gave it to me and said, "You are selected now but wait a bit"
I was surprised if he had hired me the n what more. He took out his wallet and placed it on the table. Then he took out his keys and placed it beside the wallet. Then he placed his ID card over them.
"These are the things given by Wipro. Now I am not an employee. My name is Arvind. Call me Arvind and no Sir anymore. And I am from Kunnoor. I am working in Hyderabad right now. I am your friend. Lets shake hands...", then he put his hand forward and I too. We shook hands and he continue, "...you are selected. Nobody can drop you now. I have written a star performance on this slip which the HR will see and he will not ask a single question to you. You are done. Now as a friend tell me WIPRO or INFOSYS?"
I smiled back to his question saying, "Arvind, I still can't decide. I will have to do a R&D at my level and then I can answer"
Then what he said, stills gives me goosebumps, "Bhanu, you are firm and determined. Over it you are honest and calm headed which I liked the most. Technically, I am leaving the point. Nothing to say. But do you know for even once if you would have told that you are joining WIPRO, I would have rejected you. Because if you can say yes to such a deal then you can easily convey some secret to any rival. But you didn't. This friend stuff was also a trick. The form, I have yet not signed there. It's a piece of paper without the sign. I hope that you will get great heights in your future irrespective of the fact that you joined any company".
He took the form back and signed it. He asked me to leave and go for HR round. I went outside. I was physically outside the room but the picture of the last phase was still revolving in my head. I saw the form once again and it was hard for me to believe that I had already spent two hours inside the room.
I knew I wont celebrate as one more round was left.
I was totally unaware of why he choose me for such a session. I asked Arko and every one else who went into that panel. Nobody was interrogated like this but at the end it was good and I am glad I was successful there.