The Birthday Gift

Who doesn't like gifts? Be it a birthday gift, a valentine's gift, a reward or anything else, we all love them. Sometimes we eagerly wait for our birthdays so that we can get those gifts. Some says that the gifts are the symbol of the relationship that you share and while some say gifts is just a formality. I personally never agreed to both but to some extend I think that it is given considering of your present state of life. Now you won't gift a crayon box to a seventy year oldie, neither will you gift a walking stick to a cuddly baby. It all depends on the phase of life you are passing by, but all with utmost love and care.

There is a common trend among boys of gifting a pack of CONDOMS to their friend, precisely male on their eighteen plus birthday anniversary. Now that sheepish smile on your face suggests that you must have gifted someone or was gifted by someone, if not then in other case you are thinking to do so in near future, or you are just excited with the plan. Well that’s really funny for both the receiver and the giver, but sometime it may be fatal. So it happened with my friend Arijit Mandal.

Introducing you to him first, “Arijit Mandal aka Rajesh aka Audi is among my college-mates with whom I chummed-up on the very first week of the college. Needless to say, I was correct in my decision, he is one of my close friends now. A total sports freak, who used to participate and play every sport played in our campus. The specks on his eyes gave him a studious look and his hair-style made him look innocent but he was poles apart from his appearance. Initially a die-hard Romeo for his girlfriend (oops! sorry read love) but later in the post breakup era he became a super-stud who considered girls to be a use-and-throw material. His encouraging speeches on the dark side of being committed were the main life-support for my single-hood. He was my eighty percent exam time roomy, because during these days he visited his room only for nature’s call. He is a guy who can do anything for having fun. Money was never an issue for him, as he was the sink for multiple money-vending sources. Thus he was the universal interest free loan giver among his friends. The best part of his personality was that he never hides anything from his friends. For him friendship was all that counts and matters most. He is worth being a friend.”

It was on my twenty third birthday anniversary i.e. 23^rd September 2012. A graduated Engineer in Computer Science and Engineering, by professional and placed in WIPRO on paper, but socially unemployed. I was still waiting for my call later from the company. The wait was killing me but being frank it was a leisure time for all of us, specially my friends and my volley team.

Birthday back in hostel was a painful deal and the most haunting time that anyone can ever experience in his tenure of hostel life. Friends dump their frustration and anger on your whole body, making it a punching bag. Birthday Bumps are termed as love for friends but I never felt like that. I thought birthday in home will be peaceful one but I forgot one thing that all my school friends also had a similar hostel life thus the ritual continued. The only difference this time was that the thrashing was not conducted in my room but in a remote place where there was no disturbance of any family member, public or police who can misinterpret it as many-to-one fight. Still I say that it was a lot better than hostel, the number of hands were much less.

Treat is the essential follow up after the amateur-level-kick-boxing. My hometown Saltora, a small place in Bakura District, doesn’t houses any five-star or three-star restaurants but the highway dhabas are the place where you can get your favorite cuisine and liquors. Comparatively a cheaper treat, allows you to declare “as much as you can eat” clause for your friends, hence making you a hero.

Loads of gifts and packets were an unexpected thing that they gave. With a gleeful mode I went back to my room. Few wrapped gifts from my family were also waiting in my room. I was dead tired to open them, thus I decided that I will do that in the night.

After the dinner, my mom was arranging the bed for me and I was sitting on the table, unwrapping those gifts. Dad gave me a new mobile while mom gifted me a new suit. Pair of goggles was gifted by my brother while my grandpa gave me a new camera and that was a DSLR. Hats off!! Dadu, yours is the best. Now it was the turn of my friends, one pack which was in the size of a geometry box had a beautiful pen inside it. Another packet which was a box of about a foot cube had a football. Both were awesome. At last there was a box, which was almost equal in basement as that of a geometry box but high enough to accommodate five such boxes. It was a strange gift size wrapped with white cover, which I initially thought it to be some memento or some statue. The label on it said,

“Match Practice is very important before the actual match. Best of luck and YES! Happy Birthday.

From- I won’t write it here”

Now it was pretty sure that it was a sports accessory, may be a cricket gloves or sporting equipment that is used during match practice. The strange thing was that it was totally clueless about the donor.

“Do you like the gifts”, my mom suddenly said. She was still two meters apart from me but trying to peek to get the best view from there.

“Yes all of them”, I told a lie as I was still left with the last one.

“There is one left I hope”, Mom said and resumed back to her job.

Yes that was left and I was curious. I tore up the cover. It was a brown coated box with another label which said,

“Open at your own risk”

I smelled something fishy. Many things rolled in my mind. My mind was shaping new thoughts ranging from dangerous to nasty. I slowly tore the layer to see the minimal possible part of it and avoid embarrassing circumstances. The moment when I saw the gift, the earth seemed to stop revolving, the sky became motionless, the surrounding became intact and except my heartbeat every other moveable object around me seemed to be stopped.

It contained about ten packets of condoms. It was not the only collection in our home, rather one of the many but the brand was different. My mother was a Matron in the government hospital, by profession and there were lots of condoms in the store room of our house which were meant to be distributed among poor people under the government plan of Family Planning. Even though I was a ward of a mother who encouraged the use of condom, but I was definitely not under her plan, at least in this age.

Now everything was clear what that “Match Practice” and “Actual Match” meant for.

Even few can be used but not all of them. I won’t deny the fact of my previous experiences with this matter, but won’t reveal on whom. I can only assure you that it was not a paid experience. It’s a secret that only few friends of mine know. Things can be handled, but right now my mom was present in my room, the biggest disaster waiting. The brand ambassador of Family health and planning of my locality can also become a bandit queen sometime, which I feared the most.

I decided that I can keep a couple of packets and dispose the rest, but at this moment I was unable to. There was no place of hiding them. For the first thought, my cupboard would be the best place to hide, but it was accessible for my brother. Too Risky!

Showcases were my second choice but the maid used to brush them, no way can I risked my image. The CPU cabinet was the best place, as nobody use to open it, but the space was too less inside and opening it would create an unwanted havoc in the home. Bad Idea!

The flush cabinet in the bathroom was an unused space for days as it was out of order since last ten months. It was perfect place, as nobody cleaned it, or peeped into. My mom was still arranging the room, as per daily routine. I had to send her out and I started searching for the reason. Suddenly an idea popped in my mind.

“Maa can you bring me that yellow track pants that you bought me last year”, I had no clue of her answer.

“It is in your cupboard”, Mom replied as if she was two hundred percent sure.

“No I didn’t get that”, I was an idiot. She opened the cupboard and within moments she threw that very cloth on my chair. Faster than Google; maybe within 0.019 seconds. IDEA FAIL!

I had no idea what to ask her so that she leaves the room. I already had food so asking for it would create more confusion and suspicion. There was no idea in my to-do list. I opted for waiting, till she moves out. While waiting I kept the box on the farthest position of table, with respect to mom. Half an hour passed, her work seemed to be increasing every second, but after an hour she went out. Good Radiance.

I hurried into the bathroom as if I was suffering from a bursting rectum, which was an expected excuse after a birthday party. I opened the flush cabinet; it was a clean and dry bucket with a red layer of depositing iron on it. I kept the packet inside and locked it. I filled a bucket of water and poured down into the pan, making enough noise so that my family is confirmed that I was disposing my waste and no other hidden intension.

The plan worked as nobody asked any reason for my absence when I came back to my room. The night went perfectly with a sound sleep and sweet dreams. Early in the morning, the alarm rang and I stopped it. The purpose of the alarm was to remove the pack out of the house, but I forgot.

It was ten o’clock in the morning when I woke up. The last night incident suddenly flashed into my mind and drifted towards my secret possession. I open the flush but it was not there. My heart pumped nearly ten times faster and my vision seemed to be blurred. I had no idea where on the earth it could be and enquiring about it would be a huge risk. I came out of the bathroom and looked for the dustbin, but it was empty. I checked the store room but there was no trace of it. I went back to my room and turned everything but it was also absent there. I searched the shoe-case but it was not there. I searched every possible place where it may be kept. My “Search & Destroy” mission was an undercover issue but now it was not and then suddenly mom came to me and said, “What are you searching?”

My forehead drenched with tiny sweat droplets. A gulp of saliva filled my mouth and I swallowed it. Legs were vibrating and hands were shivering. I was confused whether she knew it or not, but I had to reply. “Conn---”, I controlled my tongue and my mind. Both her eyebrows peaked and both her hands came up to her waist. I have already dug my grave and to be precise enough I was half way down there. “Yes”, she said but this time in a bit firm voice. “Converse Shoelaces”, I corrected myself. A bit relaxed but the danger was yet not over.

“Well I have thrown them away. Go and bath now. You are already late for the breakfast”, her anger was reasonable as it was really late but still I was not sure about who really did that. But one thing was sure that mom was not the one. I followed her order straight way.

Somehow I had my breakfast but I was still tensed. Dad was out for his work and so was my grandfather. My younger brother had his classes so he was also absent. Except mom and me, there was only a maid in the house. After an hour Mom too went for her work and so did the maid. I was alone in whole house. I turned and checked every bit of the house but it was not there. I was dead tired and confused. I searched the garage and also the garden but needless to say, it was not there.

Just before lunch everyone except my brother came back to home. There was no behavioral change in anybody while talking to me and that made me further puzzled. At one point of time I thought that it must be mom but she was behaving sportingly. It was just a thought and it’s impossible in reality. I thought to give it a chance and I asked mom, “When did you throw away those??”

“Last month only”, she replied and I relaxed. She still thought that I was asking her for those shoelaces. Dad and grandpa were busy eating their food and nobody paid a heed to my question. Fine I thought let it go. Everyone went back to their work, leaving me alone but this time I was bit relaxed and got busy with my computer games. Time is a relative term as per Einstein and it was true, within few moments an hour passed in the games.

“BANGGGG!!!!”, my semi-torn missing gift fell on my keyboard and few packets came out of it spreading on my table. My mind and my fingers came to stand still. AT LAST!!! The time came when I will be questioned for all possible relation with that thing that was given to me as a “GIFT”. Now my entire family will have a doubt that I am having an affair and I have to tell them several lies on their face. I will be asked to stay away from such friends. Dad will give lecture on my duties at this age. Mom will fume with anger and grandpa will sulk for few days. Nobody will talk to me properly. Everyone will consider me the black sheep of the family. I felt a minor heart ache thinking those. I didn’t know who threw it on my keyboard nor I dared to turn back and see. I just closed my eyelids for as long as I can. I was just praying God to give me strength to bear this tough time. I was just hoping that this topic may vanish as quickly as possible. I kept my eyes closed for few odd minutes and then I took a deep breath. I gathered some inner strength and made myself prepared to hear the scolding. I slowly pushed my chair back and placed my feet on the ground which was way colder than normal. Slowly I pushed the armrests of the chair and raised myself to stand and then turned as the hero of some family drama soap does in Star Plus or Sony.

“Rajesh, you are such a fool. You forgot to lock the flush after keeping it inside. You were lucky enough that Masima didn’t saw it before me”, it was my cousin Appu, who stayed few blocks away. Appu was my maternal cousin and he called my mom masi. He is just a month elder to me and to be more specific he is my best-friend from the time when we didn’t wear underwear. He was my savior, he was GOD right now. I was still under shock and could not think that this can happen. With my trembling speech I simply asked, “HOW?”

“I came here in the morning for getting some pills. I had fever last night. I went to toilet and I saw the flush half open. I tried to close it but I couldn’t. I peeped in and found it. When I saw it I was sure that it was nobody else than you. I passed it out from the ventilation and later collected it from outside. I kept it in the dickey of my bike and I brought it here”, he said and I gasped some air. My mom’s small medicine storeroom was always there for help for our clan and extended clans. I was relaxed that my “Good Boy” image in front of my parents was still intact. He made it so. I made him sit in the chair and disposed the packets after keeping some, as per my plan. I knew he had lot of questions in his mind and I had to answer them. He knew every bit of me and my dark side too, thus it was not a problem. I open the refrigerator and took out two bottles of cokes. I gave him one even-though he deserved a lot and I narrated him all the trauma I went through for that rubber. All that he did after was ROFL. I hope you get my situation.

So just for few funny moments, we can actually make things a bit serious. The phase through which Arijit went, we can even imagine but our reaction while listening to his woe was nothing else but similar to Appu.